So a lot has happened since I came back from my vision trip to Mali in September of 2008, but I specifically want to tell you a love story.
I started at Liberty University in my undergrad August of 2004. In my sophomore year, I went on an evangelism trip to Daytona Beach with the Open Air Campaigners (www.oacusa.org). This is the trip that Justin Conley (my teammate who is specializing in linguistics for the team) and I really became best-friends. The trip was a great experience of preaching on the board walks during the day and in front of clubs at night. Thousands of tracks were passed out and hundreds of conversations took place, but in the midst of all this evangelism and ministry, I also became friends with this girl from Canada.
After that Spring Break trip of 2006, Vanessa Jeske and I became best-friends. In my mind, she was a great friend. We would get coffee and talk about everything under the sun and do a lot of other things throughout the course of the school year. We would go hiking and run and study and watch movies and typical things that you would do with a best-friend. Often times these were done in group settings with Justin, Vanessa and my circle of friends. The summer of 2006 came and Vanessa went back to Canada as I went to be a summer youth pastor in Ipswich, Australia (I still miss those guys, heaps).
Everyone came back to school for the fall semester and without skipping a beat, the circle of friends were hanging out again. Vanessa and I continued our outings and coffee talks. Then it happened. She gave me a letter expressing her love for me. I didn’t know what to say. I felt horrible that I didn’t feel the same way, but I had to be honest. So, of course like an idiot, I said the infamous line, “But we’re just friends.” Surprisingly, and to the glory of God, Vanessa continued to be friends with me throughout that next school year, even when I pursued other women and had other relationships. Then again, V went back to Canada and I headed back to Ipswich, Australia to be a summer youth pastor for the 2007 summer.
Again, everyone came back for our senior year in college (time really goes by quickly). And again, without skipping a beat, we all hung out like we always had. I went through a breakup coming back to school and Vanessa was a huge help to be able to talk to, as I had always done in regards to my relationships. I could tell V anything and she would patiently listen and console when needed. We kept up our coffee talks and studying, as well as, hiking and other things for friends to be together. Then, it happened again. She wrote me another letter expressing her continued love and again I didn’t know what to say. V was a best-friend, but we were just friends. In fact, our circle of friends would tease us about being in a relationship or getting married one day and I would always shoot back, “We are just friends!” So like an idiot, again, I expressed that I didn’t feel the same way as she did, but really enjoyed being best-friends with her. And again, she was patient with my short sightedness and downright stupidity.
We graduated in May of 2008 and with tears, said our goodbyes. We thought that we would never see each other again because she was heading back to Canada and I was heading to Colorado to join WorldVenture and pursue the vision of career missions that God had given Justin and me in 2006. V and I kind of kept in touch, but both of us were so busy that contact was limited and sparse. Missions has always been V’s heart, so she pursued missions after graduation and took a one year position in Mexico City, working with the Christian and Missionary Alliance in church planting and relational evangelism.
At the end of the 2008 summer, I headed to Mali for a vision trip to see the country and to see what Justin and I will need to bring out from the States to live and do ministry, as well as, make national contacts. I got back from Mali in September (you can read about this trip in earlier post) and started a masters at Liberty Theological Seminary, raising support to go to Mali for career missions, youth director of Grace Church in Roanoke, VA, and other various responsibilities. Vanessa’s year in Mexico started in October, but before she went down there, she came by Liberty University to visit friends. We hung out during her week here and caught-up on each other’s summer and then she was gone to Mexico. You could say this was the catalyst for our dating relationship.
Life carried on as normal after V went to Mexico, until I woke up one morning and realized that Vanessa was gorgeous. This had never clicked before and now it really confused me. I had always seen her as just a friend, but now she was a possibility and a really good-looking one at that. I really struggled with this and would even lay in bed awake, thinking about it. I talked to the godly counselors in my life and prayed daily about this switch in my head and eyes. So, I sent V an email. The summary of it was, “I miss my best-friend!” Of course this really confused V, so we scheduled a night to talk on Skype. That weekend it was settled in my mind. V was the one God had for me; to be my wife. We talked on Skype and I asked her to be my girlfriend with the understanding that I really believe she is my wife. She graciously said yes after years of waiting for me to wake up; and that is exactly what God did, He woke me up. So we started “dating” at the end of October. I really accredit this to God because V and I built two and a half years of a solid friendship and communication, before I could mess it all up with romantics in my immaturity. God let us be friends before we would be lovers.
Then engagement…