As Caleb grows and develops in his capacity to understand and learn God's Word, even memorize short verses, my leadership as a father in our home is being brought into sharp focus. It is something that is more on my thoughts now than at any point before. I believe the turning point was the fact that Constance is now old enough to sit still and even participate in Bible stories. That completely changed our family dynamics concerning family devotions.
Martine and I have in the past gone through books together as a couple, and story and prayer times with Caleb, individually, have been commonplace, but we haven't had consistent family devotions (with children included) until recently. As part of this major familial shift Martine and I also have often discussed our desires concerning the heritage we want to build into our children. We realize that a decision to follow Christ has to come from each child individually, but we are committed to building an atmosphere that lives and breathes faith in a trustworthy heavenly Father.
Some of the most remarkable influences in my life, at times, have been dead men. At the beginning of our missionary tenure with World Venture we were required to read a book called "From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya." It is a biographical history of Christian missions that begins with the New Testament church and works it's way up to the mid-80's. I would recommend the book to anyone considering missions or who is simply interested in how God has built His global church over the centuries. But, interestingly, the book was very depressing to my wife, Martine, because the majority of the pillars of the faith in this book had horrendous marriages and children who did not follow the Lord. One notable person, William Carey, is someone I would never go to for marital advice of any kind. But God used him, a severely flawed vessel like all of us, greatly anyway.
There were some notably exceptions to this "bad-marriage" trend however, and it is to these exceptions that I love to turn to for historical examples of men of God who loved their wives and led their children to treasure Christ above all else. A few of these exceptions are Adoniram Judson, Hudson Taylor, and Jonathan Edwards. Here is what the Christian History Institute had to say about the immense generational impact that Jonathan and Sarah Edwards had over the centuries that followed them:
"In 1900, A. E. Winship studied what happened to 1,400 descendants of Jonathan and Sarah by the year 1900. He found they included 13 college presidents, 65 professors, 100 lawyers and a dean of a law school, 30 judges, 66 physicians and a dean of a medical school, and 80 holders of public office, including three US Senators, mayors of three large cities, governors of three states, a Vice-President of the United States, and a controller of the United States Treasury. They had written over 135 books and edited eighteen journals and periodicals. Many had entered the ministry. Over 100 were missionaries and others were on mission boards."
Honestly, I could care less if Caleb or Constance became a college president, or dean of a law school. . . but "100 missionaries?" Whatever they do, I desperately want my two young children to treasure Christ above all else. When it comes to raising up children who treasure Christ, I would love to have Jonathan and Sarah Edwards speak into our lives as parents. Show me please Jonathan and Sarah, what it means to breathe grace into every aspect of our life as a family.
That's exactly what is happening. . . even though Jonathan died in 1758. I'm finishing up his biography, "A Life", by George M. Marsden. Marsden allows us to look inside the Edwards family and relive the interactions that they had, interactions that God used to develop supernatural and eternal longings that transcended circumstances.
Here is what Esther, his happily married daughter, recounts in a letter to a close friend after a short summer visit with her parents:
"Last eve I had some discourse with my father on the great things that concernl my best interest--I opened my difficulties to him very freely and he as freely advised and directed. The conversation has removed some distressing doubts that discouraged me much in my Christian warfare--He gave me some excellent directions to be observed in secret that tend to keep the soul near to God, as well as others to be observed in a more public way--What a mercy that I have such a Father! Such a guide!" (pp. 424-425)
Oh to be a blessing like that to our children!
But the real test for Esther came about a year later. Her husband and father of her two small children, whom she respected and loved dearly, died of fever. Marsden recounts the fruit that parents of such a godly fiber instilled in her:
"Esther was devasted but also transformed. She had been deeply attached to her energetic husband. Esther's letters to Sally Prince had alluded to countless occasions when she and Burr enjoyed discussing common concerns and acquaintances. Now she was left suddenly lonely with two small children. Yet, when almost the worst imaginable had happened, she had also found spiritual resources that she had not realized she had. To her motherc she wrote in early October, not long after the funeral, that "God has seemed sensibly near. . . . I think God has given me such a sense of the vanity of the world, and uncertainty of all sublunary enjoyments, as I never had before. The world vanishes out of my sight! Heavenly and eternal things appear much more real and important, than ever before." (pp. 428-429).
Then Marsden continues with another intimate window into the interaction Esther had with her father, Jonathan, throughout this tumuluous time:
One evening, a few days after finding strength for this submission, when she was "talking of the glorious state of my dear departed husband must be in," Esther experienced quintessentially Edwardsean ecstasy with which both her parents could resonate. "My soul was carried out in such longing desires after this glorious state," she told her father, "that I was forced to retire from the family to cnceal my joy. When alone I was so transported and my sould carried out in such eager desires after perfection and the full enjyment of God and to serve him uninterruptedly that I think my nature could not have borne much more--I think dear sir I had that night a foretaste of Heaven."
Edwards, ever the wise counselor, wrote back immediately rejoicing in God's blessing and reminding Esther that true faith was not found in perpetual ecstasy, but in God's covenant faithfulness. "How do the bowels of his tender love and compassion appear, while he is correcting you by so great a shake of his head! Indeed, he is a faithful God; he will remember his covenant forever; and never will faith them that trust in him. But don't be surprised, or think some strange thing has happened to you, if after this light, clouds of darkness return." (pp. 429)
These kinds of father-daughter interactions can only be built on a years-long foundation with God almighty as the Rock, the center of the very identity of a family. I pray every day that God gives us the grace to model this kind of God-saturated outlook to our children. Though I do not necessarily desire suffering, like that of Esther Edward's loss of a husband at a young age, for my children; the world, so full of sin, is full of suffering and injustice. But, Caleb and Constance, our great God is forever faithful through it, and we will revel in His faithfulness for all eternity.